Note to Blueshirts

Good morning, Blueshirts:

It has been some time since my last check-in. I am finding that this new life (having a family member with cancer) requires a great balancing act. As an addict, I have been pretty good at balancing the "double life" in my past. But this is an altogether new experience.

I have multiple roles to play now and I am not good at multi-tasking. I have to balance work life with the needs of the family during Braxton's on-and-off treatment schedule. I have to balance being a father, step-father, husband, worker, and recovering addict. I feel stretched thin and haven't been able to focus much on recovery.

Life now is returning to some semblance of "normal." As a family we are becoming accustomed to new roles and new schedules. It is amazing what the human mind can adjust to over time. And we have had lots and lots of support for which I am very very grateful.

As an addict, I have been out wandering along the slippery slope. I have acted out numerous times over the past couple of weeks. Most recently I acted out on Sunday when I found myself unexpectedly at home alone. How quickly I ran to the computer to immerse myself in that comfortable (albeit destructive) world of pornography.

Hopefully that time has now past. In the last few days I have found some balance and have been able to return to some of the tools of recovery. I am taking time out to pray during the day and starting to make phone calls again. And today I am writing this check in.

Please pray for Braxton, for our family, and for me. Pray that I may surrender to Christ during hard times rather than surrendering to my addict.

Let's step up again and hold one another accountable -- in good times and in bad. We can help usher in the Kingdom of God even in these desolate landscapes.

Thank you, Brothers!