The Seven Desires of the Heart

As part of my recovery, I have been introduced to "The Seven Desires of the Heart"--desires we each have as persons that may or may not be met.

The Seven Desires are as follows:

1. To Be Heard.

We each desire to have our thoughts and feelings heard and understood by others.


2. To Be Affirmed.

We each desire to be told we have done well and to be affirmed on our positive qualities.


3. To Be Blessed.

We each desire to receive blessing--especially from a parent or life partner. To be blessed is to be told that we are loved no matter what we do or have done.


4. To Be Safe.

Each of us desires to be free of core anxieties (i.e., poverty, sickness, and isolation).


5. To Be Touched.

As human beings, we crave physical touch from others--not necessarily sexual. We need to be touched by others around us on a daily basis.


6. To Be Chosen.

We each desire to be chosen. This is especially true for women. We desire to be chosen by a partner and held above all others in the eyes of this partner.


7. To Be Included.

We each desire to be included in community. The community might be family, neighborhood, political group, fan club, or sports team. As human persons, we are designed for community and have a desire to be included. This desire exists even for intorverts.

********************************************************

So what does this mean? What do we do with the Seven Desires?

I would suggest two things:

First, these seven desires should be explored when we are experiencing anger. Particularly when we hold on to anger from the past, it may be a sign of an unmet desire of the heart. Identifying these unmet desires can help us to resolve and heal anger--it is the first step to forgiveness.

Second, understanding the Seven Desires can help us to more effectively love and serve those around us. Listen to others, affirm others, bless others, help provide safety for others, touch others, choose others, and create community by including others.