March 3, 2006

As a Catholic, Lent began this week with Ash Wednesday, a day of fasting. I fasted for most of the day, not eating until 9:00pm. But, as an addict, I found the fast a source of vulnerability to my addiction. The fast, which was meant to bring to me a clean mind and clean heart, also opened me up to triggers and acting out. And, in fact, I did act out.

Today I came across the scripture passage Isaiah 58:5-7 (posted below) and have been reminded that more than fasting, God wants a loving heart.

As I work on addiction and recovery, I hope I can do so with openness and a loving heart. I hope to trade in self-centered thinking for a focus on the needs of others. Perhaps, in this way, I, too, may be healed.