Words From a Blueshirt

This week I received the following e-mail from a fellow Blueshirt. His words rang so true, I thought I would share them here:

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Blueshirts,

I want to expose my current thought process to the light and at the same time, put up a fence.

I'm thinking about going online and finding one of my old standbys. Why not. [my wife] is out of town tonight so the opportunity is there. Even thought CE would catch me, I could just tell you guys I slipped and ask you to let me use my "Get out of Jail Free" card. After all, you guys are nice guys - you won't beat me up too bad. Satan will likely try to convince you that you are in no place to say anything too strong because, after all, you have slipped at times.

That image of the open jail door haunts me. I already have my pass out the door. Why do I want to stay in the cell of compulsive behavior, or, in the case of online usage, go back into the cell. Why don't I just want to stay in the freedom of being sober. Is it frightening being out of the cell and being in the light. Do I just want the comfort of the old cell when I'm feeling out-of sorts like I am tonight?

Can't I just be fine with feeling out-of-sorts without seeking someone or something to help me through the feelings. Wouldn't that be what a real man would do? Wouldn't a man after God's heart go there now, especially now?

Be well my brothers. Let's stay out of jail, or better said perhaps, let's see how wonderful sobriety is and seek to desire it more than the cold cell block of addition.