Running Log (2008-06-22)

Saturday: 7.0 miles.
Sunday: 4.4 miles.

Saturday and Sunday were both beautiful days for running, although Sunday was a little coooler and a little easier.

Saturday was supposed to be a ten mile run, but I got off to a rough start. I hardly slept at all Friday night, and then I got up early and drove Paul to Little Falls, MN (about 1 1/2 hours away), spent a few hours up there, and drove back. So part of me was unsure as to whether I should even attempt a long run since I was tired. But I did.

I almost called it off less than two miles in. I just didn't seem to be able to get into my rhythm. So I stoppe dand walked for a bit, intending to quit and try again on Sunday. But then, after collecting my breath, I decided to push onward and actually had a very enjoyable run.


REFLECTION

I am reading a book called The Spirituality of Running. It advocates using the experience of running as a time to grow spiritually. The book includes a number of questions to meditate upon during runs.

The book opens by defining spirituality as including three elements:

(i) Our relationship with ourself,
(ii) Our relationship with others, and
(iii) Our relationship with God (Higher Power, Ultimate Reality).

The first topic for reflection is to examine what we like and don't like about our relationship with ourself.

I spent my Saturday run thinking about this question. Here are my thoughts:

There are a number of things I like about my relationship with myself. I like that as I am growing older I continue to seek growth as a person and that I am seeking more self-awareness. I like that I approach this relationship and self-understanding without emphasizing what I see happening in others. As I grow older I worry less about whether my self-understanding is good or bad compared to others. I am just trying to learn more about me. And I like that my self-relationship is not centered on perfection. I am slowly becoming aware that perfection is not the ultimate goal. Rather, I simply strive for progress. I want to be growing.

The book also asks for thoughts on what I don't like about my relationship with myself. Unfortunately, there are a number of such things. I don't like that I often feel lonely or panicked when I am alone. Why am I not happy being just with me? I also don't like my harshness with myself. I am very judgmental and seem always ready to tell myself when I am doing things wrong. I also don't like that my self-relationship is primarily intellectual. I don't think I allow my feelings and emotions to play a sufficient role in how I understand or evaluate myself.