Note to Blueshirts

Blueshirts:

I acted out yesterday and could easily write all the same words that Rod uttered in his e-mail last night.

For me, it started with physical urges. I wasn't triggered by something I saw, or loneliness, or stress (or at least I don't think these were the triggers). I just recall feeling a strong physical urge to act out that started about 2:00 in the afternoon. I was in a meeting and responded to the urge by thinking about how I could act out when the meeting was over. I acted out on the internet, in my office, in my cube.

I also want to acknowledge that Beth and I had been intimate the night before. Once again there seems to be some link to being physically awakened. And yet I can't give up being a sexual being in my marriage. There must be a way to surrender acting out and still be able to be a husband.

Today is a new day. There will be many traps and snares throughout my day, but - at least for now - I have the desire to surrender myself to Christ and not act out.

Pray for me. Pray for Rod. Pray for all of us.