Brothers:
It has been a real struggle for me since I stumbled in Miami. Having responded to stress by acting out, it is as if I woke my addict from a deep slumber. Once awakened, I have been unable to turn off his ways of thinking. I find myself thinking about sex constantly; thinking about opportunities to act out and fantasizing when I am not acting out.
Only in the last day or so have I been able to start coming out of this way of thinking. During this time period I have lost contact with my outer circle behaviors and recovery tools. For the past several days I have forgotten to pray, I have not made phone calls, and I haven't been sending e-mails or checking in.
Next week I will be in Miami again for another business trip. Then Beth is coming down to join me for some vacation time. We are treating this as our honeymoon. I want to be sober for this trip. I want to be able to give myself wholly to Beth. I want to do the hard work of recovery and stop taking the quick and easy solutions that are offered to me by my addict.
I pledge myself to doing the hard work of recovery as I start another week. But I am not strong enough to fight this on my own. Please pray for me. Your prayers are effective and God listens.
Thank you in advance for all of the help and support each of you is giving to me. I am looking forward to our meeting on Monday. If there is anything I can do to help any of you, please do not hesitate to ask.
Lord Jesus, if it be your will, you can bring us healing. Help us find our way to you!
D-Monk
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