Thank You for the Phone Brigade

Yesterday the process worked. It wasn't smooth, it wasn't easy, but it worked.

I was really struggling with being triggered yesterday. I had completed quite a bit of work and was feeling the justification to reward myself. And accessing internet pornography seemed like a good idea (???).

It wasn't a blindside. Despite 3 weeks of sobriety, I acted out last Friday and knew that I might be vulnerable this week. So I called a fellow Blueshirt on Saturday while I was in a position of strength and relative sanity. We arranged that he would call me on Monday afternoon.

And the phone call came.

"Are you in the middle of something?"

I almost had to laugh at the question. I know he was asking me whether I was caught up in a work project, but the truth was that I was minutes away from searching the internet. I was, indeed, in the middle of something.

Several things were really good about this call. 1 - I had set it up ahead of time. 2 - My fellow Blueshirt followed through. 3 - I actually answered the phone even though I knew who it was and even though I was ready to act out. 4 - I was honest with my fellow Blueshirt. 5 - He listened and gave me feedback. 6 - Knowing my vulnerable state, I asked him to call again in an hour. 7 - He DID call me again in an hour. 8 - I DID NOT ACT OUT!!!




Yesterday the system worked. The phone brigade helped me to avoid a big slip. This is how it works: we focus on the things we CAN change (i.e., making phone calls, being honest). We follow through. We help each other.

Thank you, Blueshirts! Thank you for the Phone Brigade!