Ahh, the excitement of the simple things in life. Yesterday I bought a new pair of shoes. A pair of wine-colored penny loafers. They are exactly like my old shoes, except newer!
One thing that has always flummoxed me about a new pair of dress shoes is how slippery they seem. When you're walking on carpeting it's like wearing a pair of ice skates. And it can take forever for them to lose that slipperiness.
But then I learned from my Beloved that there is a remedy for this: Go out to the sidewalk and scuff the bottoms of your new shoes. It seems all women know this and they have all practiced scuffing since they were little girls with new black patent leather shoes. While boys were out doing everything in their power to mess up every article of dress clothing in every possible way, the girls used their constitutional right of assembly to form organized groups on street corners and practice scuffing only the bottoms of their shoes.
And, of course, none of the girls, not even my Mom, ever bothered telling me about this useful practice. Instead, once every two years, they sit at their desks and watch out of the corner of their eyes as I regale them with the latest version of Disney on Ice as I try to reach my office in a new pair of shoes.
So here you go, girls!
This triple-axel with a double-twist head contusion is for you!
D-Monk's got a new pair of shoes!
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