Today's Addict: An Insane Jerk!

It's always hard to be an addict, but some days it is harder than others. That has been the experience of this addict recently.

Addicts always have a tendency to live on the border of insanity and being complete jerks, and some days this is more true than others. That has been the experience of the addict lately.

Today the addict will share in embarrassing detail an "incident" that took place last night. The addict shares this experience out of sheer frustration. Out of the hope that bringing the addict's own embarrassing behavior to light will help the addict to grow and become a better person in the future. In short, the addict shares this story as a lost cry for help.

The addict has been on a binge recently. He has acted out with regularity and this has caused a loss of productivity at work and a general mood of resentment at other times. The addict has been caught in a long train of rationalizations: "My behavior is really quite normal." "Life is stressful and I have to find relief somewhere." "My acting out may be bad, but I am not as bad as other addicts," etc.

And the addict went a week without taking his anti-depressants. Those who know the addict well know that this makes the addict cranky.

And this is the addict who created the "incident" last night: a frustrated addict who had been acting out to relieve stress, who was rationalizing, and who had lapsed on taking his medication leaving him as a ticking time-bomb just waiting for a trigger ... (sigh)



At about 8:00 last night the addict stopped at a gas station with his spouse and his youngest child in the car. As the addict was getting ready to leave the gas station, he found himself behind a car that had pulled up right in front of a "No Parking" sign. There was not enough room to pass the car which was blocking the route to the gas station exit. The addict's only (rational) choice was to back up and find another way out.

Of course the addict did not make the rational choice. Instead he became angered by the inconsiderate person in the high-priced SUV who was parked in a clearly marked "no parking" zone. So the addict honked his horn.

Nothing.

The addict couldn't tell if there was anyone in the high-priced SUV or not, but his anger had taken over (and on Halloween ...). So the addict got out of his car (with his wife and child inside) and went and banged on the window of the SUV. Seeing that the driver was sitting there, the addict made very exaggerated gestures indicating he should move.



The driver of the SUV got out and began telling the addict that it was not ok to bang on the window of his car to which the addict responded that it was not ok for his car to be parked there. More pleasantries were exchanged, including the addict calling into question the relative intelligence and/or education level of the SUV driver, and in the end, the addict did what he should have done in the first place -- backed his car up and found another way out.

Why didn't the addict do that to begin with? What feeds this anger and this need to become the self-appointed enforcer of the law? And why does the addict spend the rest of the night re-living the scenario? Why does the addict want so badly to have been the "victor" in his memory?

So many questions and no good answers. The addict is definitely an egotistical, self-serving, and angry individual. Obsessive and stubborn as well. The addict wants to change these behaviors, but doesn't see how.

What should the addict do?

Can anybody out there help the addict change his ways?