"Joy"?

"For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame,
and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

---Hebrews 12:2


What does "joy" mean in this context?
Christians often talk about Christ's suffering, but rarely about his happiness or his joy.
I think there is a key to the Christian faith in understanding the role of joy in God's salvation history.

Joy is an intricate part of the Christian experience,
not something that we discard or ignore.

A Good Trip "Up North"

You have already heard the addict's lament about the "lost marathon." But, alas, the addict's higher power provides grace beyond measure. So despite the addict's descent into insanity last week, there is much more to be grateful for.

The addict and his Beloved did not cancel their trip to the North Shore. Although the addict would not be able to participate in the marathon, there was no reason we could not enjoy a weekend alone. And the North Shore is a perfect place for such a weekend.

Special preparations were needed. The North Shore's greatest treasures are outdoors and off the beaten path. Getting to these spots can be a special challenge for an addict with a limp. So our first stop was at Gander Mountain where the addict purchased a hiking pole which he could also use as a cane.

The addict settled on the Swiss Flex Pole -- a steal at $12.99.



Although the addict and his Beloved usually like to stay farther north, they were booked at a hotel in Two Harbors, just 22 miles past Duluth. We had a room over-looking the Great Lake and were quite happy to settle in for a quiet weekend.




Friday night's dinner was at the "world famous" Betty's Pies, a wonderful local diner with good food and great pies. The addict had a slice of banana cream while the Beloved tried the cherry berry crunch.

Saturday morning was wonderous! The sun was out and temps were in the mid-70's. PERFECT!!!




We headed up to Tettegouche State Park and spent some time on the rock beach by the Tettegouche Arch.

Then we drove further up the North Shore to Grand Marais where we had lunch at our favorite local spot, The Bluewater Cafe.




On the way back to Two Harbors we stopped to hike up to Caribou Falls. Another glorious sight in the woods on the North Shore.

We returned to Betty's Pies for dinner again on Saturday night. This time the addict and the Beloved both had slices of Chocolate Banana Cream pie.

Sunday brought rain, so we packed up early and headed back to Minneapolis.

But for an addict who had recently slipped into insanity, this weekend brought much to be grateful for:

+ the foot injury is not too serious;
+ time alone with the Beloved is always wnderful;
+ the addict's higher power emminates glory in the outdoors along the North Shore;
+ wonderful food provided extra joy;
+ there was a nice Father's Day celebration upon our return.

Thank you, Higher Power, family, and friends!

This addict is truly grateful!

One More Stumble, One More Cost

From time to time the addict blogs about the costs of addiction. Today the addict adds an entirely new, and entirely unexpected, item to that tally of costs: one lost marathon.

The addict was registered to run Grandma's Marathon in Duluth, Minnesota this past weekend. The addict has been training and was ready to go. But then, just two days before the race, came another stumble with addiction. A stumble which produced unexpected results.

Thursday should have been an ordinary day at work for the addict. It should also have been a day free from the perils of acting out. The addict had plenty of work to do, was enjoying his work, and was scheduled to leave the office early to pick up the Chatty Chatty Princess from pre-school. No extended periods of boredom and distractibility were on the addict's radar. Life, and the day, had purpose and meaning. And the Chatty Chatty Princess stood at the end of the day.

But the addict has been lazy lately -- lazy and careless. The addict has toyed with borderline behaviors and started to believe -- against all the evidence -- that his behaviors could be managed, that he could control the consequences of his addiction.

As usual, the addict was wrong.

What's the addict's definition of insanity? Doing the same things over and over and expecting different results.

Once again, for those of you who haven't already figured it out, THE ADDICT IS INSANE!!

Thursday afternoon presented the briefest of pauses from work and the addict was distracted by a thought. The addict, once again, insanely, felt that the thought could be explored without the usual consequences of addiction. But of course, this mere attempt to explore the possibility of acting out led to full-blown acting out.

Soon the addict was swept up into the full fury of his addictive behavior. The afternoon started to speed by. The time for leaving to pick up the Chatty Chatty Princess came and went. Still the addict kept on acting out.

Pre-school closes at 5:30. It takes the addict 25 minutes to get home on a good day.

4:15 ... still acting out.

4:30 ... still acting out.

4:45 ... still acting out.

What will happen if the addict doesn't get to pre-school before it closes? Will they tell his wife? What will his daughter think about Daddy getting there late? Who else will the addict disappoint?

4:50 ... still acting out.

4:55 ... the addict finishes his insane behavior.

What am I doing? What have I done? How could I do this when my youngest, the Chatty Chatty Princess is relying on me? Why am I doing this at all?

The addict shut off his computer, grabbed his things and ran out the door.

Maybe I can make it if I hurry ... Maybe I can manage the consequences ... Maybe ...

DAMN IT!!! THERE ARE NO MAYBIES AND YOU KNOW IT!!!

The addict is running for his car. The addict is wearing flimsy sandals, and is wrecklessly running for his car trying to undo the damage he has already done. THE ADDICT IS INSANE!!!

Half way to the car the addict's foot slips. He turns his ankle and lands on the outside of his foot.

PAIN!!!!

Who care about pain? Your late and the Chatty Chatty Princess is waiting for you!

The addict keeps moving forward ... rushing to get to his car.

Traffic cooperates and somehow the addict gets to pre-school on time. No one thinks he is late and the Chatty Chatty Princess rushes to him with hugs and a smile.

And the addict limps to the car with the Chatty Chatty Princess.

Perhaps he has not disappointed her, but the damage is done. The addict has hurt his foot trying to cover the costs of his addiction. There will be no marathon for the addict. And though it appears an innocent accident, and though no one else knows why the addict was running in sandals, the addict knows.

Yes, the addict knows. The addict is insane. And the addict is broken.

"Became Willing to Make Amends"

Step 8: "Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all."

Lately, the addict has been angry. But that wasn't supposed to be the topic of today's diary entry. The topic was supposed to center on the "Rules of the Road." Why cars need to yield to bicyclists and why bicyclists need to yield to pedestrians, along with a reminder to bicyclists that, at least in the State of Minnesota, sidewalks are for pedestrians only.

But that is no longer what today's post is about. Now the post is about anger and making amends.

Let's go back to yesterday ...

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It was a hot, humid, sunny afternoon in Minnesota and the addict was out on a training run. This was the last run before the marathon which the addict is scheduled to run at the end of this week. And the training run was going harder than it should have because the day was hotter and more humid than what the addict was used to.

About five miles into the run, the addict was running on a neighborhood sidewalk, listening to music, and battling the heat, when suddenly a bicycle came from behind him and jostled him in his run.

Anger!

Then a second bicyclist.

More anger!

The addict lost his temper and shouted obscenities at the two cyclists. And watching them just continue on their way, the addict got even angrier.

So the addict used his anger to push harder and run faster, hoping in vain to catch up to the cyclists. The addict quickened his pace considerably on a day that was supposed to be a light run. The addict became an angry runner.

Eventually the addict turned back towards home and eased up a bit on his pace. But now he was an angry runner and a worried runner. Angry at the cyclists and worried that he had pushed himself too hard so shortly before marathon day.

Just then he heard shouts from behind him. The same two cyclists had returned and were still biking on the sidewalk.

So what did the addict do? Did he establish contact with his Higher Power and step aside to let the bikers go by? Did he apologize for his earlier language? Did he "let it go"?

No.

He placed himself in the middle of the path so the cyclists couldn't get by. He told them that they had less than a full grasp of how the laws worked in this part of the world. He got in their faces and they got back in his. There were even a couple of shoves.

Then the bikers left and the addict was again angry that he could not run as fast as they could bike away. He ran hard again. He was an angry runner, pushing very hard on a very hot day. The addict was now at the mercy of his memories of the incident for he could not let it go. There is no joy for an angry runner!

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So how does the addict feel today? The addict still feels angry. But now he also feels shame, embarrassment, and remorse.

Why is it so important to be "right"? What if the addict had simply made room for the cyclists and treated them as honored guests? How can the addict change his reactions the next time something like this happens?

And is the addict "willing to make amends"? If he saw the two cyclists today, would he apologize for his role or would he continue the argument?

The choice is up to you, addict. Are you willing to make amends and move forward, or will you continue to live as a slave to your resentment.

It's up to you, addict. Make a choice!