Reflections on Step Six

As the addict has struggled through repetitive cycles of acting out, he has had some occasion to reflect on the Sixth Step of recovery:

"Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."


The addict has been frustrated lately by his lack of sobriety, by his continuing to go back to behaviors he wishes to give up. While recovery has helped the addict to develop a better sense of self, a sense of spirituality, and a deeper contact with serenity, recovery has not, thus far, led to extended sobriety.

Why not?

In walks the Sixth Step with its key phrase "entirely ready."



What does it mean to be entirely ready?

More to the point, what would prevent me from being entirely ready?

The Big Book of SAA offers the following insights in its discussion of Step Six:

"Wanting our lives to change is not the same as being actually ready to change."

"Much of our resistance to change is based on fear. We may find it easier to continue in an unhappy, yet familiar way of life, than to face an unknown and uncertain future."


These words ring true to me. I certainly don't want to continue being an addict and acting out, but what I haven't considered yet is what is my alternative?

It is easy to want to give up acting out, but what do you replace it with?

I've never really stopped to consider that part of the reason I act out is because I simply haven't found anything else to fill in all the time that I spend in this destructive behavior. Faced with a circumstances that usually lead to acting out, I have never given myself an alternative constructive behavior to use as a substitute. So, failing to plan, I have left my addict in the position of constantly choosing between unwanted but familiar behavior and the unknown.

So having attended a meeting last night, the addict received some positive advice and feedback. Choose some affirmative alternatives to acting out. Plan for them. Don't let the unknown keep your addict enslaved in harmful routine.

This is good advice.

Thank you, fellow travelers!