Cold and Lonely

It's cold now in Minnesota. Currently it is 7 degrees with a forecast high of about 10 degrees for today. But it is colder still as the wind blows across our frozen landscape. Windchills today are below zero. It's cold and lonely on the Minnesota landscape.

It's cold now in the addict's heart. As the addict goes through another relapse in acting out, the heart becomes colder. And the winds which blow through the addict's heart make it colder yet. These are the days when the addict acts out but does not know why. Acting out is followed by denial, resentment, justification, and rationalizing. And the addict isolates and becomes colder. Cold and lonely.

Today's reflection from Hazeldon was on point for the addict:

"A [life of acting out] isn't a happy life. [Acting out] cuts you off from other people and from God. One of the worst things about [acting out] is the loneliness. And one of the best things about [recovery] is the fellowship. [Acting out] cuts you off from other people, at least from the people who really matter to you, your family, your co-workers, and your real friends. No matter how much you love them, you build up a wall between you and them by your drinking. You're cut off from any real companionship with them. As a result, you're terribly lonely. Have I got rid of my loneliness?"

So why has the addict returned to acting out? Why be blown into this life of loneliness? Does the addict even have a choice?

Times like these fill the addict with doubt. Despite belief in a Higher Power the addict wonders, can I ever escape this sickness? Maybe the twelve steps can work for others but not for me. Maybe I'm the exception.

Cold and lonely ...

Purpose Driven Life: Day 15

FORMED FOR GOD'S FAMILY



POINT TO PONDER:

I was formed for God's family.


VERSE TO REMEMBER:

"He destined us for adoption as his children through Jesus Christ, according to the good pleasure of his will." [Eph 1:5]


RICK WARREN'S THOUGHTS:

You were formed for God's family.
God wants a family, and he created you to be part of it. This is God's second purpose for your life, which he planned before you were born. The entire Bible is the story of God building a family who will love him, honor him, and reign with him forever. "He destined us for adoption as his children through Jesus Christ, according to the good pleasure of his will (Eph 1:5)."

When we place our faith in Christ, God becomes our Father, we become his children, other believers become our brothers and sisters, and the church becomes our spiritual family. The family of God includes all believers in the past, the present, and the future.

"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe." [Eph 1:18-19a]

What exactly does that inheritance include?

* First, we will get to be with God forever.
* Second, we will be completely changed to be like Christ.
* Third, we will be freed from all pain, death, and suffering.
* Fourth, we will be rewarded and reassigned positions of service.
* Fifth, we will get to share in Christ's glory.

We signify our participation in God's family through baptism.

Why is baptism so important? Because it symbolizes God's second purpose for your life: participating in the fellowship of God's eternal family.

"For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body--whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free--and we were all given the one Spirit to drink." [1 Cor 12:13]

Baptism doesn't make you a member of God's family; only faith in Christ does that. Baptism shows you are a part of God's family.


D-MONK'S THOUGHTS:

Rick Warren now introduces us to the second of five purposes for our life: To be a part of God's family.

From an ontological point of view, we, as believers, have been conferred a new status--we are God's adopted children, inheritors of all God has to give.

From a praxis point of view, being a member of God's family calls us to participation in a community of believers--the Church.

As an introvert and a heavy thinker, I often find myself attracted more to orthodoxy than to orthopraxis; I am more concerned with right belief than right works. But if my belief includes an understanding of myself as part of a family--part of the body of Christ--then I cannot ignore the practical implications. God has called me to be a part of his family of believers; I need to learn to worship and serve God with and along side of other Christians. I cannot simply go it alone, however attractive that may be.

So the next few studies in The Purpose Driven Life will be a challenge for me. I need to learn how to be a part of a family of believers.

Going on a Moose Hunt!

[We now return to blogging D-Monk's North Shore trip ... before the onset of bronchitus]

Sunday afternoon featured another favorite pasttime for D-Monk and his Beloved ... a North Shore Moose Hunt!

Although not as plentiful as in Maine, there are moose to be seen in the extreme north of Minnesota. D-Monk and his Beloved love to seek out the moose and shoot them with their digital camera. They are wonderous creatures ... graceless water-donkeys with great horns wandering through the vast areas of hyperboreal vegetation.



Moose are easier to find in the winter. They like to lick salt off the roads and the best time to see them is near dusk. So at about 3:00, D-Monk and his beloved set off up the Gunflint Trail to see if any moose were to be seen. We saw four!!!!

But ... this was not the whole story.

**************************************************************

There they were, D-Monk and his Beloved, hiking on an isolated road, in January, in northern Minnesota, near dusk. The temperature was about 12 degrees and the hikers were utterly alone. It would be at least a twenty minute hike back out to the main road. Then, hopefully, they would see somebody.



So how did they get hear? All alone in the isolated wilderness with no cell phone coverage or other way of calling for help? What had drawn them to this place?

They had seen two moose on the Gunflint Trail, but wanted to see more. D-Monk felt that a trip down one of the back roads might do it. They turned off on a road that led to Iron Lake.

On the side of the road was a sign which read:



"Minimum Maintenance Road! Travel at your own risk."

Seeing that he and his Beloved were traveling in a soccer-mom styled, suburbanite mini-van, D-Monk chose to ignore this warning. After all, everyone knows that a mini-van can go anywhere!



D-Monk and his Beloved drove about a mile into the minimum maintenance road and then took a turn off into a camp ground. The snow seemed a little deep, so D-Monk decided they better turn around.

"Oh, @&*%!"

Too late! The van was stuck.

D-Monk and his Beloved tried to push the van out. He turned the front-wheel drive back and forth to try to get traction. They rocked the van forward and back. They even tried using the floor mats to create extra traction. No luck. The van was stuck and two people were not enough to get it out. There was no cell phone signal, they were miles from anywhere, and the sun was setting. Oh ... and it was cold outside!

They decided they better hike out. No one would pass where they were, but there was fairly regular traffic out on the Gunflint Trail.

So D-Monk and his Beloved hiked the minimum maintenance road back out to the main highway. They still had to wait 20 minutes before a car came by, but when it did, it had two hearty Minnesota fisherman who eagerly agreed to help them out.

Thirty minutes later, D-Monk and his Beloved were back in their mighty mini-

Blogus Interruptus

THIS BLOG WAS INTERRUPTED BY --- BRONCHITUS!


Sorry for the lack of posts and the utter absence of your blog host, but D-Monk's flue of two weeks ago evolved in to D-Monk's Bronchitus of last week. D-Monk has been laid up at home without access to the computer and coughing up a lung every thirty minutes (I didn't know a person could have so many lungs!).

But, although the Bronchitus lingers on, D-Monk is back at the office and can post again. D-Monk's boss asked him today if he should be back, and he just said, "I can't take being at home anymore!"

So, with that said, posts to D-Monk's blog will now resume ...

Purpose Driven Life: Day 14

WHEN GOD SEEMS DISTANT



POINT TO PONDER:

God is real, no matter how I feel.


VERSE TO REMEMBER:

"For [God] has said, 'I will never leave you or forsake you.'"
[Heb 13:5]


RICK WARREN'S THOUGHTS:

God is real, no matter how you feel.

The deepest level of worship is praising God in spite of pain, thanking God during a trial, trusting him when tempted, surrendering while suffering, and loving him when he seems distant.

God has promised repeatedly, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." But God has not promised "you will always feel my presence." In fact, God admits that he sometimes hides his face from us.

Will you continue to love, trust, obey, and worship God, even when you have no sense of his presence or visible evidence of his work in your life?

"The most common mistake Christians make in worship today is seeking an experience rather than seeking God."

When you fail to experience God's presence, do the following:

(i) Tell God exactly how you feel;

(ii) Focus on who God is -- his unchanging nature;

(iii) Trust God to keep his promises; and

(iv) Remember what God has already done for you.


Pour out your heart to God. Unload every emotion that you're feeling.

Regardless of circumstances and how you feel, hang on to God's unchanging character. Remind yourself what you know to be eternally true about God: He is good, he loves me, he is with me, he knows what I am going through, he cares, and he has a good plan for my life.

When you feel abandoned by God yet continue to trust him in spite of your feelings, you worship him in the deepest way.


D-MONK'S THOUGHTS:

How is it that, as Christians, we don't always feel God's presence? When he doesn't seem to be there, does that signify some sort of failure on our part? Do we assume we have a lck of faith?

I think Rick Warren has provided some good material here. Whatever my purpose on earth, it does not come with the guarantee that I will feel my maker alongside me. Some part of God's purpose for me here is to test me and to help me grow. And sometimes this can be best accomplished by forcing me to "go it alone." Faith cannot grow without challenges.

I do not always experience God in my life. I have gone through very long periods of time when it seemed as if he just wasn't there. Sometimes this was due to my actions -- I withdrew from or hid from God. But sometimes he isn't there even when I am earnestly seeking him.

I must remember in these times that he is still the giver of all that I have and that he still cares for, loves, and affirms me. These are the times that I need most to surrender to and trust in him.

Oh, God, I believe ... Help me in my unbelief!

Purpose Driven Life: Day 13

POINT TO PONDER

God wants all of me.


VERSE TO REMEMBER

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul
and with all your mind and with all your strength."
---Mark 12:30


RICK WARREN'S THOUGHTS

God doesn't want part of your life. He asks for all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.

God is pleased when our worship is authentic.

god is pleased when our worship is thoughtful.

God-pleasing worship is deeply emotional and deeply doctrinal. We use both our hearts and our heads.

The best style of worship is the one that most authentically represents your love for God.

Jesus' command to "love God with all your mind" is repeated four times in the New Testamant. God is not pleased with thoughtless singing of hymns, perfunctory praying of cliches, or careless exclamations of "Praise the Lord," because we can't think of anything else to say at that moment. If worship is mindless, it is meaningless. You must engage your mind.

"Offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship." [Rom. 12:1]

One thing worship costs us is our self-centeredness. You cannot exalt God and yourself at the same time. You don't worhsip to be seen by others or to please yourself. You deliberately shift the focus off yourself.


D-MONK'S THOUGHTS

Worship comes as a struggle for me. Weekly church gatherings seem tedious most of the time. I do not find myself engaged by typical acts of worship.

But I find three things in this reflection on worship that strike me as important and appropriate:

(i) worship should engage the mind,
(ii) worship should reflect my ways of loving God; and
(iii) worship is not about me.

The last point is a theme from the Purpose Driven Life as a whole. It's not about me. It's about the Creator, the one he gave me the gift of life and the gift of redemption. So worship need not necessarily "feel good" for me. I worship to give something tto my God.

Nevertheless, God may be pleased by forms of worship other than what I find in church services. The gifts and interests God has given me can all be used to please and praise him. It is what the character in the movie Chariots of Fire said, "I think God takes pleasure in my running."

So whatever I do, I shall try to do it for God's pleasure. This shall be my worship, to offer all of my daily acts to God as a gift to him.

Reflections on Step Six

As the addict has struggled through repetitive cycles of acting out, he has had some occasion to reflect on the Sixth Step of recovery:

"Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."


The addict has been frustrated lately by his lack of sobriety, by his continuing to go back to behaviors he wishes to give up. While recovery has helped the addict to develop a better sense of self, a sense of spirituality, and a deeper contact with serenity, recovery has not, thus far, led to extended sobriety.

Why not?

In walks the Sixth Step with its key phrase "entirely ready."



What does it mean to be entirely ready?

More to the point, what would prevent me from being entirely ready?

The Big Book of SAA offers the following insights in its discussion of Step Six:

"Wanting our lives to change is not the same as being actually ready to change."

"Much of our resistance to change is based on fear. We may find it easier to continue in an unhappy, yet familiar way of life, than to face an unknown and uncertain future."


These words ring true to me. I certainly don't want to continue being an addict and acting out, but what I haven't considered yet is what is my alternative?

It is easy to want to give up acting out, but what do you replace it with?

I've never really stopped to consider that part of the reason I act out is because I simply haven't found anything else to fill in all the time that I spend in this destructive behavior. Faced with a circumstances that usually lead to acting out, I have never given myself an alternative constructive behavior to use as a substitute. So, failing to plan, I have left my addict in the position of constantly choosing between unwanted but familiar behavior and the unknown.

So having attended a meeting last night, the addict received some positive advice and feedback. Choose some affirmative alternatives to acting out. Plan for them. Don't let the unknown keep your addict enslaved in harmful routine.

This is good advice.

Thank you, fellow travelers!

Smoke and Water!

Consider the following two scenarios: (i) you are commuting to work on a Monday in a car which is overheating but manages to get you all the way to the office, or (ii) you are standing in the rain for over an hour without an umbrella. Which do you choose?

D-Monk experienced each of these situations during the past week and one experience was filled with joy.



It wasn't a Monday morning, it was worse -- a Tuesday after a long weekend. The body has adjusted to longer hours of sleep and less pressure. But the demands of the office await. And D-Monk's car is acting strange.



The car's temperature gauge suggests that the engine is hot, but the heater only blows cold air into the face of our commuting hero. It's only 25 degrees outside, so can overheating really be an issue? Do you believe the dashbooard indicator or the cold air blowing in your face?

Unfortunately, D-Monk knew the dashboard wasn't lying. D-Monk knew the car's coolant system was having troubles -- an apparent fluid leak. And D-Monk knew that he has ADD/ADHD, that although he had suspected the car was out of coolant for some time, he had done nothing about it. And then there was the smoke.



As D-Monk approached his downtown office, the car began to smoke. And then it stalled. But, in a panic, D-Monk got the car re-started amidst the blaring horns of rush hour traffic. And D-Monk made it to work safely.



Or you could have chosen the rain. The rain was much more fun! New Year's Eve brought rain in Minnesota and D-Monk spent an hour standing in the wet stuff. Gloomy you say? No ... not at all.

Why not?

D-Monk has a 3-yr old daughter and she begged him to go play in the rain. We played soccer in the rain and then D-Monk shadowed her while she watered all of the flowers. "The flowers want to grow, Daddy!"



Life through the eyes of a child! What wonder! Sure ... I'll go play in the rain!

Purpose Driven Life: Day 12

DEVELOPING FRIENDSHIP WITH GOD



POINT TO PONDER:

I am as close to God as I choose to be.


VERSE TO REMEMBER:

"Draw near to God and he will draw near to you."


RICK WARREN'S THOUGHTS:

If you want a deeper, more intimate connection with God, you must:

(i) learn to honestly share your feelings with him;
(ii) trust him when he asks you to do something;
(iii) learn to care about what he cares about; and
(iv) desire his friendship more than anything else.

The first building block of a deeper friendship with God is complete honesty--about your faults and your feelings. God doesn't expect you to be perfect, but he does insist on complete honesty.

Every time you trust God's wisdom and do whatever he says, even when you don't understand it, you deepen your friendship with God.

We obey God, not out of duty or fear or compulsion, but because we love him and trust that he knows what is best for us. We want to follow Christ out of gratitude for all he has done for us, and the closer we follow him, the deeper our friendship becomes.

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." [John 15:9-11]


D-MONK'S THOUGHTS:

To me, this desire for friendship may be the crux of spirituality. I don't believe simply to be saved, I don't worship because I have to. I believe and worship because of what Christ has done for me and out of a desire to know him better.

Warren's first step down this road is honesty with God. This is a little hard to grasp. If God knows all there is to know about me, what is the point of honest disclosure.

Honesty is a part of any relationship and growth. Honesty with God is how I grow as an individual. God doesn't need my honesty to know what I think or feel--I need my honesty in order to grow.

The desire to be closer to God all the time, to be intimate with God, has been much on my mind lately. I am an introvert by nature. I am somewhat challenged as to the emotional skills required to develop and grow friendships in any context. And I find myself struggling to build a friendship with God. How can I make him a part of all that I do?

In the end, though, I DO desire intimate friendship with God. I will keep trying to be honest with God and to invite him into my daily life.