To Believe or Not?

The first step in recovery, as most people know, is to admit the problem. In 12-Step language:

"We admitted we were powerless over our addictive behavior -- that our lives had become unmanageable."

The second step is to believe.

"We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

But what does it mean to believe? This is a problem that has troubled the addict both in recovery and in his pilgrimage of faith. What does it mean to believe?

Many addicts have trouble with the second step because they don't want to believe in a higher power. They don't want to be religious, don't want to be Christians, Muslims, Jews, or anything else. They don't believe in God and they don't want to believe in God. For these addicts, the struggle is one of how to live a spiritual life in an agnostic world. Where do they locate their higher power?

For this addict, however, the problem has been quite different. You see, this addict was a believer long before he was an addict. This addict has been a Christian since high school and has always held firmly to the belief that he is saved in Christ Jesus.

But if this is the case, why addiction? How could he stumble so poorly along the way as to have to be confronted with the second step, "came to believe"? If the believer has become an addict, was he ever really a believer?

What does it mean to believe?

The addict is slowly coming to understand that belief is something more than knowledge or intellectual assent. Belief is an act. Belief is trust.



Consider the following story:

A man steps off a cliff and plummets towards the earth below. In the course of his fall he manages to reach out and grab a branch (the proverbial cliff-hanger). The distance below him is too great to drop and the distance above is too great to climb. Then an angel appears above him. He calls out to the angel, "Save me!"

"Do you believe I can save you?" the angel asks.

Seeing the angels great wings and powerful arms, the man answers, "Yes, I believe you can save me."

"Do you believe I WILL save you?" asks the angel.

"Yes," answers the man.

"Then," the angel says, "LET GO!"

Would you let go? Could you let go?

Here is where the addict keeps stumbling. The addict has believed for many years that Christ CAN and WILL redeem him. But the addict has not acted in a manner consitent with that belief. The addict relies on his intellect, his status, his money to get him through adversity. When the chips are down, the addict relies on himself. The addict has yet to turn his belief in Christ from intellectual assent to trusting faith. And, sadly, the addict isn't even sure if he knows how to do this. The addict has spent his whole life relying on his own ability to take care of himself and face problems. How do you let go of the only thing you've ever known?

But then we come back to the first step: "We admitted that we were powerless over our addictive behavior ..." The addict has admitted that he cannot take care of himself. So he must let go. He must come to believe in a higher Power, in Christ, in a new way. Belief must be translated into trust. If the addict's sponsor says this is how the program works, then do it. Trust your sponsor. And trust Christ.

Are you ready to believe, Addict?