The only thing you should owe to anyone is love for one another. For to love the other person is to fulfill the law. All these: You shall not commit adultery, you shall not kill, you shall not steal, you shall not covet, and all the other commandments are summed up in this single phrase: You must love your neighbor as yourself. Love can cause no harm to your neighbor; and so love is the fulfillment of the Law.---Romans 13:8-10
"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development ... [f]ear of people and economic insecurity will leave us." (pp. 83-84)The addict examined this promise last week and wondered if it could be true. Can a person really escape the fear of economic insecurity?
The addict asked because he was feeling a great deal of economic insecurity in his life. Bills have been mounting up and fixed expenses (including debt maintenance) have started to outstrip income.
But in the past week the addict and his spouse have taken action. Together they have come up with a proactive plan to reduce debt and restructure finances. This plan was created in tandem, with no arguments, threats, or blame.
The addict and his family will sell their current house and use some of the equity in the house to reduce debt. The consequence will be living in a smaller home with less stuff. But what a trade -- roominess, stuff, debt, and anxiety for coziness, simplicity, and peace of mind. And a good set of lessons for the children, too.
So maybe there is something to losing fear of economic insecurity. Perhaps economic insecurity can be experienced and acknowledged without having to be feared.
************************************************************************That was one year ago and now, one year later, the addict is again feeling that pit in his stomach that comes from a bad case of economic insecurity. Does anything really change?
So what has happened since?
Well the addict and his Beloved did put their house on the market, but the plan to simplify life by cashing in on equity crashed with the housing market. But that was ok. We like our house and it has been a great home for our family and we have made better decisions about finances.
Unfortunately, life is filled with all of those things that we cannot control (oh, serenity prayer, I need your help now). And one of those uncontrollables has been the addict's car.
After putting $1,200 into major repairs involving the timing belt just 3 weeks ago, the addict's car again had a major beakdown this weekend. The addict continued to drive the car after the engine had shown signs of overheating and the car rewarded him by breaking down on the side of the freeway on Sunday afternoon. Stranded with two of his children, the addict was grateful that no harm had come to any of us and that help came in the form of a stranger.
But now reality has set in. The cost of repairing the car will be more than the car is worth and the addict's finances are stretched extra tight right now. We are still paying for the recent family vacation and absorbing the cost of the repairs made to this car just a few weeks ago.
Now the addict has a giant pit in his stomach from financial insecurity. What should he do? Buy another car? Find a way to manage without the car? Repair the old car?
Fear of economic security is supposed to leave the addict, but it would be dishonest to claim that it hasn't.
Apparently I have a slow learning curve. You would think that as a professionally trained lawyer that I would be better equipped for arguments with my four-year old, but she clearly has the upper-hand. Her imagination and shifting conceptions of reality have left me flummoxed.
I wave the white flag for the Chatty Chatty Princess.
The last several days have offered two glittering examples of the vastly superior reasoning she wields over me.
1. For the past several weeks the Chatty Chatty Princess has been playing with two imaginary friends -- Diego & Alicia. She is always making sure that we are taking these two friends seriously. When we go anywhere in the car she asks, "Where are Diego and Alicia going to sit?" When we go to the pool she says, "Make sure you help Diego & Alicia." When it's time for a goodnight story, Diego & Alicia have to
listen too.
On Saturday morning, as we were preparing for our return trip to Minnesota, the Chatty Chatty Princess wasn't eating much of her breakfast. The Beloved asked her if she wanted to bring her donuts in the car, but the Chatty Chatty Princess said no. So I, being the intelligent and creative parent that I am, thought I would appeal to the needs of her friends, Diego & Alicia.
I said, "Should we bring the donuts in the car in case Diego and Alicia get hungry?"
"Daddy ... Donuts are real food and Diego & Alicia are pretend. You can't give them real food."
Score:
Chatty Chatty Princess - 1
D-Monk - 0
2. While on the Denver trip, the Chatty Chatty Princess lost her favorite pink elephant. She had asked Santa for a baby pink elephant for Christmas and he brought it to her because she was such a good mommy. Since Christmas, baby pink elephant has traveled everywhere with the Chatty Chatty Princess. But in Denver the baby pink elephant disappeared.
D-Monk got the Chatty Chatty Princess another stuffed elephant (gray, not pink) for the remainder of the trip and she was fine. But when we got home the Chatty Chatty Princess ran up to her bedroom and looked in her bed for the baby pink elephant. D-Monk reminded her that baby pink elephant got lost in Denver. She said, "I know, but I thought maybe she walked home."
D-Monk decided to go back to the same store where "Santa" had procured the original pink elephant. He brought home a new baby pink elephant and put it on her bed.
When the Chatty Chatty Princess discovered the elephant she came running down the stairs. "Look, Mommy & Daddy! Santa brought me a new baby pink elephant!"
Again, I made the mistake of thinking I could use her imagination as a tool for my argument. I told her that it was not a new elephant, but that Santa had found the old elephant and given her a bath. She remarked at this point that the old elephant had a white stomach. Neither the Beloved nor I had noticed this, but she was right. So, once again using my amazing powers of persuasion, I told her
that baby elephant was growing older and her stomach had turned pink.
"Daddy ... Stuffed animals don't grow!"
Score:
Chatty Chatty Princess - 2
D-Monk - 0
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