Positive Interference

So much in the life of an addict never changes: feelings of loneliness, anxiety, shame, desparation, anger, rage, etc. This is just the stuff of life. Healthy or not, a person will always have to deal with both welcome and unwelcome emotions.

But the addict has hopes for recovery. The ability to experience this range of wanted and unwanted emotions, accept their presence, and deal with them honestly ... all without resorting to acting out.

The addict is pleased to report a recent period of sobriety. The purpose for making such a report is not to be self-congrautlatory (although the addict can always use some affirmations), rather the purpose for sharing this news is to also share what has been working for the addict (in the hopes that others may also be helped).

The key to recent sobriety: Positive Interference.

So what is positive interference? Well ... it's really just a term the addict made up. But it does represent a new recovery strategy for me.

You may have heard of the "Three Circles." In recovery language, these are terms that identify three types of behavior: (i) middle circle behavior - that behavior which constitutes a break in sobriety ("acting out"); (ii) inner circle behavior - behavior which is not acting out, but which often leads to acting out; and (iii) outer circle behavior - positive actions which can be used in recovery to fill the time that used to be taken up by acting out.

The addict is turning to outer circle behavior while at work. The addict's biggest stumbling blocks are periods of unstructured time at the office when the addict is experiencing anger, boredom, or loneliness. These are the times when the addict is mosty likely to act out.

In addition to being an addict, D-Monk also has A.D.D. So although there are many things that should be filling these times (i.e., unfinished projects, customer reach outs, etc.), the addict tends to fill these times with negative behavior.

Now the addict has chosen to run Positive Interference. The addict is giving himself permission to engage in outer-circle behaviors during work time that are not work related. Although the best thing to do during these times would be to get about the business of business, substituting positive behaviors for acting out behaviors is a huge benefit in terms of recovery. By giving himself permission to engage in these behaviors, the addict has provided a means of filling stressful, unstructured time without acting out.

For the itme being, this has been a positive development for the addict.

Positive Interference: The Addict is grateful for thee!

Ghosts on the Path

One of the truly great things about parenthood
is getting to re-experience life through the eyes of a child!!

Today, as I drove my youngest, the Chatty Chatty Princess, to pre-school,
she told me that there were ghosts on the path and we needed to watch out!


So how do you get rid of ghosts on the path?

You roar like a dinosaur!!



Good-bye, ghosts!

Change Your Brain

This book is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED by D-Monk.

Dr. Amen's book uses SPECT brain imaging to study how the activity in different parts of the brain affect different types of behavior. The book also studies the chemical interactions underlying over- or under-activity in each part of the brain and then suggests prescriptions which include diet, exercise, behavior changes, medication, and diet supplements.

For example, reading this text suggests that D-Monk has an underactive pre-frontal cortex which leads to inattention, bad impulse control, and disorganization. An underactive pre-frontal cortex is often caused by a lack of dopamine in the brain. Dopamine can be raised in several ways including:

+ a high protein diet;
+ taking diet supplements such as tyrosine, grape seed, and ginko biloba;
+ taking a stimulant medication such as adderall; and
+ listening to Mozart.

D-Monk has found this book to be very insightful, educational, and helpful. I think all curious readers would enjoy this book.

Bring it on, Minnesota!

One word for this weekend in Minnesota:

FRIGID!

Wake-up temperature this morning was -8 degrees (-22c) with windchills of -25 (-32c).

After today, we will not see temperatures above zero (-17c) until Tuesday.

This is the kind of cold that we get about once a year and it really re-sets all your body systems.

FRIGID!

Bring it on!!!

The Addict's Response: Step Four

As the addict has experienced a debillitating relapse this week, he has also become aware of how little "step work" he has been engaged in. The most travelled road to recovery is the Twelve Steps. This road includes weekly meetings, working with a sponsor, and frequent contact with other addicts. This road also includes working each of the twelve steps. To work a step is to sit down and reflect on the step and prepare a written inventory of responses to the step.

D-Monk has not been doing any written step work as of late. And the addict is in remission.

So here now the addict commits himself to a deliberate, thoughtful, and honest working of the fourth step. To this end, the addict offers the following comments from the Big Book of SAA:

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THE FOURTH STEP - "MADE A SEARCHING AND FEARLESS MORAL INVENTORY OF OUSELVES"

In taking the Fourth Step, we begin to know ourselves for who we really are. Building on the foundation of the first three steps, we take stock of the feelings and patterns that have shaped our lives. We come to realize that our addiction is more than just unmanageable activities, but indicates an entire system of underlying thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. If we neglect this inventory, we risk being stuck in our old habits and mistaken beliefs, and our unexamined defects of character will eventually lead us to relapse. By looking honestly at our moral nature--the failings that kept us trapped in our addiction, as well as our virtues and aspirations--we start to move away from being self-centered and toward being God-centered.

A searching and fearless moral inventory is one of the means by which we open ourselves to the care and healing of our Higher Power.

A moral inventory can be described as a systematic examination of all the beliefs, feelings, attitudes, and actions that have shaped our lives from the earliest years. It is a careful survey of how we have responded to people, circumstances, and the world around us. An inventory allows us to go over our lives methodically and objectively, reevaluating assumptions, beliefs, and feelings that we have held onto for years but perhaps never examined or questioned. In making this inventory, we take special care to identify those aspects of our character that have caused harm to ourselves and others, so as to bring them forward for healing and change in later steps.

The Fourth Step inventory is a written inventory.

Our inventory is searching, because we try to examine ourselves as thoroughly and painstakingly as possible. It is fearless, because we don't let our fear stop us from digging deeper. It is moral, because it concerns our values and the consequences of our actions for ourselves and others.

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Prayers, please, for this lost and wayward addict.